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“But I think a lot of the time, it’s seen as this sexist institution of marriage that only benefits the man.” Although polygyny is permitted under Islam, and some would say is growing in acceptance, Naeemah Khabir said that it remained a contentious topic within the Muslim community and that the specific guidelines under which it is permitted have not always been followed.“These are rules that some men follow,” she said, “and a lot of men don’t.” .Isn’t that kind of demeaning that you have to have a male relative there? “It takes a strong person to follow the rules when you live in a society that’s telling you that those rules are stupid, that they’re archaic, that they’re obsolete, that they’re chauvinist,” Khabir said.Matrimonial Online Matrimonial Banquets“ISNA Online Matrimonial Service” is a web-based matrimonial service that provides networking opportunities for Muslims seeking a spouse.Attracting 23 couples to two days of speaker events and activities in the Poconos, the idea was for people to learn tools rooted in the principles of Islam to manage challenges within a committed relationship.
Three visits later — always communicating through her son — the two eventually met on her porch and talked for several hours.
Both initiatives help an institution, a bedrock of the community, that’s seen as under threat.
Just 49 percent of college-educated black women marry well-educated men (i.e., with at least some post-secondary education), compared to 84 percent of college-educated white women, according to an analysis by Yale sociologist Vida Maralani.
Khabir, of Elkins Park, who has a master’s degree from Syracuse University, even hired a private matchmaker for nine months until the counselor assigned to her conceded that race was part of her problem.
Women in the Philadelphia Muslim community, which is primarily African American, may also face a double whammy: a dearth of educated men in communities ravaged by unemployment and incarceration, said Aneesah Nadir, whose observation is echoed in research by the Brookings Institution and Yale University.
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Older or divorced women particularly value the companionship without the responsibilities of caring for a full-time spouse.