Girls that prefer dating feminine boys
(This piece was originally published at The LStop.org)Within every lesbian community there exists a tale as old as time, a proverb as common as it is contentious: Bi women cheat, betray, and ultimately leave — never for another woman, but for a man.Like those who flee the tumults of city life for quieter and less complicated pastures, bisexual women may seem destined, in the eyes of gay women, to trade the grit and hardships of queer life for the suburbs of heteroville.Now no one is driving the process forward; no one sets up the next date, leans in for a kiss, or “buys the flowers,” so to speak.Any digression from the beaten path of straight romance leaves other bi women feeling as though I’m not interested, even if I am interested but showing it in a different manner than she’s used to.In this situation our interactions feel less scripted and more ad-libbed, and I feel so much more like an equally invested — and involved! If dating gay women has worked for me, why hasn’t it for the friend I quoted above, or possibly for other bisexual women as well?
Like many stereotypes, the lived experiences of one group have almost certainly colored the perceptions of another, however unfairly or inaccurately.
As a result one rarely hears these concerns echoed in the gay male community; why would a gay man ever fear losing his bi male partner to a woman?
This principle can be explicitly observed in how most heterosexual men view a woman’s bisexuality as exciting and acceptable, because in his mind no sex involving two woman can truly be a threat to him, as his penis would be the only one around.
)My relationships with gay women, on the other hand, have felt much more egalitarian to me.
Particularly with those who’ve known their orientation from an earlier age, and/or those who’ve had little, if any, experience dating men in their past.
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I can’t help but wonder how many bisexual women do this simply because they don’t believe — or haven’t even noticed that — the other woman is actually interested.