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In fact, in my case I started to like people more and more since I ended up with fewer mental burdens and negative feelings."The only thing I'm suggesting is that for people to consider you a certain way you have to act a certain way to meet their conscious and unconscious expectations, even if the charade is irrational as a whole.Think of it as a way to get a social baseline that will in turn help you have a more meaningful existence."It is oftentimes limiting too much - their expectations costs you.For anybody learning to say "no" currently - learn to say "no" gently and kindly. I let people impose stuff on me, and once I have had enough, I have a very rude way of telling people off.One reason for this rudeness is a fear that I will lose something when declining (e.g.I had the exact same goal you've described in your post.Like you've hinted at, the current trend in society is along the lines "however cares the least wins" and the sad truth is that you have to play the game to some extent to unlock richer interactions.The root cause always stems from a need or necessity that you currently have, like need for rest/food/time to think/time to finish this or that task properly/...Even if you are lazy and simply don't want to help right now, remember that this laziness also fulfils one of your needs - probably you need to rest or think.
In my experience, the only people who say they need to start thinking more of their own needs are the ones who have always done so.
However, it's certainly a counter-intuitive notion that merits investigation.
At the very least, it's quite helpful to critically evaluate your most common habits and patterns.
a relationship or money), so I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place - I don't want to help, but I feel I should not decline.
Most of the times, my rudeness while finally saying "no" is out of place, e.g.